I know it’s hard for most Nigerians to understand that some people are actually single by choice, and God forbid, they are actually happy too. So if like me, you haven’t walked down the aisle yet, you certainly have a couple of newly wedded friends who ’empathize’ with your current ‘situation’, and patronize you every chance they get.
Here are a couple of statements they make that I hope to never ever hear again:
1. “Don’t worry, it will soon happen for you too.”
Do I look worried?
2. “God will do your own.”
Uhm, Amen?
3. “How come you’re not dating [calls random person], he/she is nice.”
That unemployed alcoholic? Seriously?
4. “I know one of my husband’s/wife’s single friends that would be perfect for you.”
Just don’t.
5. “I can’t believe you’re still single.”
Well, believe it.
6. “Sometimes I wish I were still single, you just have so much free time.”
Lmao. Wow
7. “I remember when I used to be single…”
Calm down, you literally just got married a few weeks ago.
8. “The right person will appear when you least expect it.”
Is that like science or something?
9. “Can my husband/wife come too?”
Jesus! You already see them everyday, can you chill?
10. “…it’s a married people thing.”
Oh? OK!
11. “We just can’t keep our hands off each other.”
Please try.
12. “When you marry, you’ll understand.”
Oh yeah, that higher level of wisdom that comes with a ring. Got ya.
13. “I swear the sex is different.”
Can I hear word?
14. “Married life is just too sweet.”
I’m sure.
15. “You’re too picky…”
Not wanting to date a serial killer doesn’t make me picky.
16. “You remember [mutual friend’s name]? She was [old age] when she got married. There’s still hope.”
Stop, please.
17. “At least, you haven’t gotten pregnant/anyone pregnant.”
Small miracles, I guess.
18. “You need to go out more. How will you meet your anyone when you’re always at home?”
Mhmmmm.
19. “I just want you to be as happy as we are.”
Yeah, I’m sure that’s why you’re doing this.
Is there anything you want your newly wedded friends to stop saying? Sound off in the comments section.
